oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
cat food counts as protein by the way
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
