I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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