So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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