"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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