i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
