You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
