I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
