Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
