I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
