I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This is not my ceiling
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
