How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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