Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
