i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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