im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This can only be settled by a dance off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
