I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
