So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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