If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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