yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
