do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
