Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
