Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
