I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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