It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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