Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
