Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
People in love make me want to vomit
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
