well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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