Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
