i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Michael Bay diarrhea
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
