She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
