he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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