the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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