I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
