i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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