"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we're making bets on your personal life
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
