i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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