bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i came on her dog
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
