never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
