she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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