How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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