I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
