do herpes really smell.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
