First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
