**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
