the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
