i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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