Welp...herpes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
