Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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