i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
