I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
