I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
