Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
